Blog 1: Deviant students

By: Logan Midler

The norm for most families is a mom, a dad, and their neurotypical kids. Nothing else.

This is what comes up on google when you search "picture perfect family."


My family is different. I have two moms and a twin brother who’s autistic.

When you’re a kid, people love asking about your family. “What do your mom and dad do?” was the go-to question in my elementary school. I hated it, not because I didn’t love my family, but because my answer always got me weird looks.

To me, my family was completely normal. My moms supported me in everything I did, took me on fun trips, helped with school, and just wanted me to be happy. But to other kids, it was “weird.”

Some even bullied me because I didn’t have the “right” family structure. I remember being told that my parents’ marriage was wrong because the Bible didn’t support it. At that age, it was confusing. My family never felt unusual until other people told me it was.

Looking back, it makes sense why some kids thought that way. In 2010, Pew Research Center published a study that showed nearly half of Americans still opposed same-sex marriage, while only about 40% supported it. Kids probably repeated what they heard their parents said at home. 

Research also shows that kids with LGBTQ+ parents often face bullying just for that reason. A 2020 study published in the National Library of Medicine found that almost half of children with same-sex parents reported being victimized at school, especially in rural communities where their families stood out.

And then there’s my twin brother, Max, who has special needs. Growing up with him shaped who I am in ways that make me incredibly proud to be his sister. He’s taught me patience, compassion, and how to laugh at things most people overlook. But again, it made us stand out. Kids didn’t always understand him, and sometimes adults didn’t either. People stared, whispered, or treated us differently.

Because of Max, I discovered a passion for special needs advocacy. For the past five summers, I’ve worked as a camp counselor for kids with special needs, the same camp Max goes to. It’s become one of the most rewarding parts of my life, and I know I wouldn’t have found that without him.

Between having two moms and a brother with special needs, I’ve never exactly fit the “picture-perfect” version of family.

But here’s the thing: my family has always been full of love. That’s what mattered. Looking back now, I realize those differences made me stronger. I know what it feels like to be judged for something you can’t control, and it’s made me more empathetic. I’m quicker to defend people who don’t fit in, because I get it.

It’s taken time, but I don’t see my family as “different” anymore, I see it as proof that “normal” is made up. There are countless ways to define family, and all of them are valid. Mine just happens to look a little different on the outside, but to me, it’s always been perfectly normal.

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